The Comparison Problem

I’ve been looking at a lot of other people’s lives recently. I see all the amazing things happening in their lives. All of the things, parties, babies, money, and then I look at my own life. My life doesn’t look nearly as good as theirs. What am I doing wrong? What secret did I miss? While I feel lonely, they’re out having the time of their lives with all their friends. And it looks perfect. So I try as hard as possible to be like them, because if I’m like them then maybe I will finally have the friends that I’ve always wanted. Maybe.

But that never happens, so I’m stuck in this cycle of trying harder and doing better and failing. I do this over and over again, but I never “make it.” So I get depressed and discouraged thinking that I’m never going to be the perfect wife, future mother, friend that everyone else is. So I fall into the hole of self-loathing and discontentment; all the while forgetting who I am and who God has created me to be.

Thankfully there is a light at the end of this kinda depressing tunnel. Our light is Jesus Christ. Some of you might know Jesus very well, but some may not at all so I will go over who He is. It never hurts to review what He has done for you.

Jesus, who is God, came to the earth about 2,000 years ago to pay the penalty for our sin. Before I was a believer, I was rebellious and cynical. I did not want Jesus to come and save me because I honestly thought that I didn’t need to be saved. So while we all hated Him, He came to this earth, was tortured, and died all for us. Not because of how great and awesome I am, but because of His great all-encompassing love. He bled and died so that I could spend an eternity in heaven with Him. So that I could worship Him.

Now with all this in mind this little ‘comparison problem’ that I was having seems a little stupid, right? If God cares for me that deeply don’t you think that He would have created me just like He wanted me to be. Every detail of my personality and appearance He consciously designed. So why am I constantly hating on these things? Isn’t that like saying, “God I know you created me and formed me, but I think this, this, and this is wrong and that you didn’t do it right.” Kinda silly isn’t it? Our God lovingly designed for our lives exactly as He wanted us to be. Every personality quirk and shortcoming He designed into our lives so that we could grow to be more like Him. Every trial He puts into our lives will shape us more and more into conformity with Him. So while everyone else might have the ‘perfect’ life I can actually thank Him for all of those big or little inconveniences that happen in my life. Those inconveniences are what mature and grow us. We might have some growing pain, but we can remember what Paul says to the Romans. “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” 1

Every Christian that you meet will have their own set of trials and growing pains and I believe that this is very helpful to remember. They have gone through things that are painful and remembering this helps me to treat them with kindness and compassion. We also have a Savior who is able to empathize with our suffering. Hebrews 4:15 reminds us of this, “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weakness, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.”  We have a loving heavenly father who deeply cares for us to cast your cares upon Him. If you are struggling with comparison pray and ask for opened eyes. Pray to see yourself and others as how they truly are. “…by grace, you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves… so that no one may boast.” He is the composer and we are the notes, perfectly designed for His use.

As Christian women, we have an amazing God who skillfully crafted every aspect of ourselves. He loves us and created us for something so much bigger than our insecurities. He created us for His glory. So how does this change our attitudes…

Thank for reading and I pray that you have a blessed week!

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  1. Romans 8:18

Thoughts?